Culinary Caper Fan Gifts

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

"All the salmon has disappeared yet every door to the house was locked. Oh, it's a mystery all right."

'You made me jump,'

Dog imagines its master as a meat chart.

'This is DESTROYING my manicure, Steve!'

"All right, we straighten this out immediately! René threw the bouillabaisse at Jacques, no? The Jam-bon en croûte was thrown by Jacques at René, correct? The truite en gelée and the fraises des bois were thrown by François at Henri, and Henri threw the mousse au chocolat at François, and . . ."

'I said you could have ONE cookie!' 'I know. I took two HALF moon cookies...'

'Police. We have reason to believe you've been hacking into your neighbor's computers and stealing their recipes.'

'I think the microwave has finally given up the ghost.'

'Keep an eye out for the cookie police.'

"He's been watching all those cookery programmes."

Bees arresting a honey bear.

'Whoever called this job WAITING obviously never did it!'

"Lemming" Meringue Pie

"It appears it's middle was licked out."

'It looks like the Great Asparagus Cutter has got your number.'

'You know I must have been mistaken, it tastes fine after all.'

"My dog didn't eat my homework. My husband did."

'Please help yourselves to the salad bar, folks.'

'When you've got a minute, give this a bowl of milk.'

"Whoa! A little more than I anticipated. . . Can you give me a moment while I pop out to the bank?"

Criminal Santa Claus

Another Bloody Cookery Show

NutcrackersSafecrackers.

Servant boy caught with his mouth full of food

"Crap! There's a really big piece of tape!"

"Hey, Conroy, your lawyer is here."

A potato is walking down the street; a potato masher is hiding around a corner waiting to jump him.

'Fooling-around-with-strange-chemicals-during-a-break rota.'

Fridge Pirate

"Sardine on pumpernickel is an unusual request, your honor, but this is an unusual trial."

'Can't you get it into your head you don't work on the Orient Express now !'