Culinary Caper Fan Pillows

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

"All the salmon has disappeared yet every door to the house was locked. Oh, it's a mystery all right."

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

"All right, we straighten this out immediately! René threw the bouillabaisse at Jacques, no? The Jam-bon en croûte was thrown by Jacques at René, correct? The truite en gelée and the fraises des bois were thrown by François at Henri, and Henri threw the mousse au chocolat at François, and . . ."

'You made me jump,'

'Police. We have reason to believe you've been hacking into your neighbor's computers and stealing their recipes.'

'I think the microwave has finally given up the ghost.'

'Keep an eye out for the cookie police.'

"He's been watching all those cookery programmes."

'Whoever called this job WAITING obviously never did it!'

Bees arresting a honey bear.

'It looks like the Great Asparagus Cutter has got your number.'

"It appears it's middle was licked out."

'You know I must have been mistaken, it tastes fine after all.'

"Whoa! A little more than I anticipated. . . Can you give me a moment while I pop out to the bank?"

'Please help yourselves to the salad bar, folks.'

"My dog didn't eat my homework. My husband did."

Criminal Santa Claus

Another Bloody Cookery Show

Servant boy caught with his mouth full of food

"Crap! There's a really big piece of tape!"

"Hey, Conroy, your lawyer is here."

NutcrackersSafecrackers.

A potato is walking down the street; a potato masher is hiding around a corner waiting to jump him.

'Fooling-around-with-strange-chemicals-during-a-break rota.'

'Can't you get it into your head you don't work on the Orient Express now !'

Fridge Pirate

"Sardine on pumpernickel is an unusual request, your honor, but this is an unusual trial."

Egg beater.