Culinary Fan Pillows

Wordilly Durdillies - Fan assisted oven.

'Whoever called this job WAITING obviously never did it!'

'I think the microwave has finally given up the ghost.'

"Lemming" Meringue Pie

'I sent out for everything.'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Before/After

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

Baker Romance

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'I was in the catering corps.'

'Does this thing get channel four.'

Restaurant Chef with book titled: 'Introduction To Cooking'.

Feast

The Perfect Foil

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

"Room for dessert, folks?"

"What's happened to Quiche?"

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

Doctor uses thermometer to check chicken.

Cookery Lesson.

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"