Comedic Caper Fan Gifts

"We nick handbags for the contents, not because they'll 'compliment' your new winter jumper!"

Wedding Day Itinerary.

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"I run around this high school track every morning."

"What's so wrong with always living in the present?"

'I haven't spent a day in jail since I got rid of my lawyer and hired a spinmeister.'

'It's not as impressive as it looks. He only watches fishing shows.'

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

Dog imagines its master as a meat chart.

'This is DESTROYING my manicure, Steve!'

Cristoph Willibald Gluck 2nd July 1714

"You heading south again this summer?"

Boxers vs. Briefs

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

"So does this Flamingo diet have any side effects?"

An expedition to get ice for the party.

No wonder kickboxing seems so hard.

Pisa and sons.

Flatware Follies.

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

"No, no, it's certainly not a Gerwurztrameiner; that's too far north."

"Any other educational qualifications besides Trump university?"

'I'm a genetically modified fish aimed at the environmentalist market.'

Crime section.

Watering rooftop lawn floods building.

"I'm so disappointed, because I thought it was a new C&A."

"And how long have you had this superiority complex?"

"If we pull this off, we've made burglary history!"

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

Bugs hold a candle-light vigil for fallen comrade while the old man responsible for his death is unrepentant.

"It's your husband from beyond. He says stop trying to 'Google' him."