Kit Kitchen King Pillows

"I get a fresh food kit delivered for lunch. All I need to do is chop, cook, and enjoy!"

Counting ribs

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

"That's it. We’re toast."

Soup of the month.

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

"Take me to your Larder!"

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Too much cilantro

"Incredible! Once again, you've made the perfect piece of toast."

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

Salt and Pepper

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

'I put the cake in the blender because I wanted a glass of cake.'

The Perfect Foil

Sweet surprise.

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

An Advance Visit From The Three Wise Men

A chef teaches a classroom of other chefs how to properly flip something using a spatula.

"So are you can't cook or won't cook?"

Instant Gratification Cafe.

"I'm unable to process this image."

The Inexperienced Cook

'Anybody for breakfast?'

Will work for Food Network.

The secret lives of household things.

Boy baking a cake.

'Do we have any empty calories in this house!!'

'My mom bakes from scratch -- she's a full-service mom.'

"If they don't show up soon I'll have to admit I forgot to invite them."