Kingdoms Pillows

Fish king swimming around his bowl!

Although Tall Enough to Play Basketball, Had There Been such a Thing, the Emperor Charlemagne Was the Son of King Pepin the Short

"Drop it... Such things banished in our kingdom."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

'The Burrito King.'

"Surprise!"

'You've made a powerful enemy'

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

TV jester.

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

British Prime Minister

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

The Unhappy King

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

The Royal Wii

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"What good is power if you don't use it?"