Kingdom Nostalgia Lover Pillows

"Just suck it up and let him continue binge-watching your entire repertoire."

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

"Dammit, Pooh - don't let the heffalumps win!"

'The Burrito King.'

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"The knights of the round accent table"

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

Teddy Time Bears

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

"Trust me. This is going to make it easier to discuss your childhood."

Medieval headlines.

'Want a mudpie? It's organic!'

'Want to swap imaginary playmates?'

"They must be from a time when it was safe to meet in the park at night."

"We're playing doctor and I need 50 cents for my co-pay."

Fat Kid 14- Gets re-animated

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'

The Litany Of Fun

Girl to girl: 'A friend is someone you don't have to call dibs with.'

Like many kids, Bobby had an imaginary friend. Unfortunately for Bobby, he was a critic.

"Looks like somebody brought a blanky to a pillow fight."

Fade to black...

The Music Box

'Mummy, Daddy, this is Dylan. Dylan's ambition is to make conkers a recognized Olympic sport.'

"What good is power if you don't use it?"

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

Flava Superba

"I'm in real trouble this time -- I broke the house!"

'And here on our left you see the sugary cereal aisle...a real crowd pleaser!'

'It must be love if your sneakers melted!'

'My favorites are the ones dad tells when he gets home late.'

Creepy Camp Stories.

"When I first saw your mother, she was bathed in moonlight."