Childhood Nostalgia Lover Pillows

'If you found money in the street, would you keep it?'

Eloise Revisited

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

'Uh, actually I did you a favor. Do you know how many carbs there are in porridge?'

'Here's snakes and ladders please give the draughts. . .'

'Gonorrhea,syphillis,chlamydia,herpes,HIV positive,genital warts...'

Skipping

'I don't know how to tell you this Fred, but Arnold gets to eat roast beef and I get to stay home.'

'Do you do wedding receptions?'

Are we inviting invisible friends?

'A woman at the cinema tore my ticket in half. '

"If you don't give me any candy, I'm going to haunt you for the rest of your life!"

'Now she's jealous of my imaginary playmate.'

'Why not invest that money in 'Tooth Fairy PLC'? Send for a prospectus now.'

'We had a full and frank exchange of views, and then I bopped him.'

Tooth fairy wanted: 'Next!'

"Hey mister, you got chocolate?"

'My Mom was a call girl - and retired after 20 years at the phone company.'

'It's called 'peek-a-boo' - It's a game about eye contact.'

"No, that's not the right Mr. Wayne either...maybe Batman doesn't have a telephone!"

Creepy Camp Stories.

"All I know is that he goes by "Daddy" and kids love him."

"Dammit, Pooh - don't let the heffalumps win!"

"I've found that if you barely step on a crack, it will only give your mother mild constipation."

"Hey! John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt!"

"We're playing doctor and I need 50 cents for my co-pay."

"You should have been at Ashley's birthday party. We played Spin-The-Recyclable-Plastic-Container."

"I think as a kid I was pushed a little too hard."

'You mean medical science hasn't come up with a cure for common cooties?'

'Ah, your sister wears a bra!'

Child sniffing sherbert like cocaine

'My favorites are the ones dad tells when he gets home late.'

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

'We can't win. Mum keeps telling us to play quietly, and when we do, she thinks we're up to something!'

'Mummy, Daddy, this is Dylan. Dylan's ambition is to make conkers a recognized Olympic sport.'