Childhood Nostalgia Lover Pillows

'If you found money in the street, would you keep it?'

Eloise Revisited

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

'Uh, actually I did you a favor. Do you know how many carbs there are in porridge?'

'Here's snakes and ladders please give the draughts. . .'

'Gonorrhea,syphillis,chlamydia,herpes,HIV positive,genital warts...'

Skipping

'I don't know how to tell you this Fred, but Arnold gets to eat roast beef and I get to stay home.'

'Do you do wedding receptions?'

Are we inviting invisible friends?

'A woman at the cinema tore my ticket in half. '

"If you don't give me any candy, I'm going to haunt you for the rest of your life!"

'Now she's jealous of my imaginary playmate.'

'Why not invest that money in 'Tooth Fairy PLC'? Send for a prospectus now.'

'We had a full and frank exchange of views, and then I bopped him.'

Tooth fairy wanted: 'Next!'

"Hey mister, you got chocolate?"

'My Mom was a call girl - and retired after 20 years at the phone company.'

'It's called 'peek-a-boo' - It's a game about eye contact.'

Creepy Camp Stories.

'Mummy, Daddy, this is Dylan. Dylan's ambition is to make conkers a recognized Olympic sport.'

'We can't win. Mum keeps telling us to play quietly, and when we do, she thinks we're up to something!'

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

'My favorites are the ones dad tells when he gets home late.'

Child sniffing sherbert like cocaine

'Ah, your sister wears a bra!'

'You mean medical science hasn't come up with a cure for common cooties?'

'You can't come in because there are things that men were not meant to know.'

'I'm hoping to marry someone like my mom. Someone who will greet me at the door with a cold juice box.'

'She said she was made out of sugar and spice, so I bit her.'

"We had to change the hopscotch in case it was too challenging."

"You better take Teddy's temperature too....he was awfully sick this morning!"

"Teddy had a bad dream and asked me to bring him in here with you."

"Next year we lose our nap time...then we have to wait until we get real jobs to get it back!"

"All I know is that he goes by "Daddy" and kids love him."