Kingdom Humorist Gifts

'Humpty Dumpty hit a wall, and all the kings' men and all the kings' motorcycles' couldn't put him back together again.'

'It's nothing personal against you, Bobo -- it's just that Limbaugh is funnier,'

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

"The Englishman goes to the beach once a year to shed his skin."

"The Eggsorcist"

'You've made a powerful enemy'

Cash Machines From Across the Land

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

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"Albert the Great—what a joke."

"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."

"Being with you is just getting too surreal for me, Larry."

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

'Oh dear, what a shame - It's raining again, Pam!'

'When we all get together, we sure are vulgar.'

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

No, that's "Virginia Wolf" with one "o."

'Go and hunt for your own lunch. Who do you think I am, Ray Mears?!'

"All rise."

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

Jackson Pollock - "Oh no! Someone's thrown paint all over it!"

"I've been bounced a few times, but never deposed."

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

'I know the Oval Office is in the West Wing. I wonder what mischief goes on in the East Wing?'

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

"It's obviously an original."

Nude conductor of Orchestra conducting 'The full Monte-verdi'