Kingdom Humor Fan Gifts

"The King regrets he will be unable to attend your execution, but he would like you to know that he shares your pain."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

The Brothers Grime

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Beer Parasol.

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

'Here was proof that Lawrence was indeed an Englishman."

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

'All she said was something about having rice for dinner and then poof!. . . She's gone!'

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"

The bird feeder.

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Presidential surveillance ass!"

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

"Fish finder."

"It worked as you said Mum! I yelled 'LICE' as soon as the lion approached and he stopped in his tracks to scratch his mane while I escaped!"

'Bob, wait!!! Nice try, bear.'