Kingdom Humor Fan Gifts

"The King regrets he will be unable to attend your execution, but he would like you to know that he shares your pain."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

The Brothers Grime

10 K Tail-Chase

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

The Snooze Bar.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Beer Parasol.

tRUMp, Pirate President

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

No, I don

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'Here was proof that Lawrence was indeed an Englishman."

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

The bird feeder.

Presidential surveillance ass!"

'Bob, wait!!! Nice try, bear.'

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

"Fish finder."

'All she said was something about having rice for dinner and then poof!. . . She's gone!'

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation