Kingdom Humorist T-Shirts

'Humpty Dumpty hit a wall, and all the kings' men and all the kings' motorcycles' couldn't put him back together again.'

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"The Englishman goes to the beach once a year to shed his skin."

"The Eggsorcist"

'You've made a powerful enemy'

Cash Machines From Across the Land

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

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"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

'Oh dear, what a shame - It's raining again, Pam!'

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

'When we all get together, we sure are vulgar.'

'Go and hunt for your own lunch. Who do you think I am, Ray Mears?!'

"All rise."

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

Jackson Pollock - "Oh no! Someone's thrown paint all over it!"

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

"It's obviously an original."

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

'I know the Oval Office is in the West Wing. I wonder what mischief goes on in the East Wing?'

"I've been bounced a few times, but never deposed."

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

Nude conductor of Orchestra conducting 'The full Monte-verdi'

'Have you considered drawing other people?'

"Tony and Stephanie are from Iowa."