Kingdom Cord-cutters Gifts

Cord cutter

'You said you wanted a F-A-C-E chord.'

"If a tree falls in the forest and hits a certain individual, would he still be able to testify?"

'How much did you say we'd be saving by buying a wood-burning stove?'

The sounds of a tree falling in the forest.

"Jeepers, what happened to your power cord?"

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

Loggerheads

The Lumberjack and the Yule Log

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

Sawrd Fighting

'This cola only has half the calories, so if I only drink half that would be no calories!'

Boxer's Hair Styles.

Man cutting a tree using a axe connected to a machine

A lumberjack leans against a giant pencil that reads "Giant Sequoia Brand No .2".

Take your Daughter to Word Day

'What did I tell you about feeding your pet beaver table scraps?'

Man chops down trees to make wooden car.

Time-Off Coupons

Man talking to a tree.

Paranoid Woodcutter Suspicious of Trees

Tree thinks about its lifecycle as a man is about to cut it down.

"Of course trees can walk. We're just lazy."

'Dad, I've got two more chargers for you to store.'

The world's last tree was felled...

"Maybe if we both pull."

"Wait! Wait! Wait! I can tell you exactly what it sounds like if I fall and nobody hears it!"

Surf Guitar

Lumberjack Interviews

"A birthday gift card? Really?"

"Nope. Looks like we're gonna have to use the saw on this one, too."

"For goodness sake, I don't need to do a new risk assessment each time I cut a new tree..."

Dog wees on man's leg as all trees are gone.

Timber!

'Can you call back? He's busy right now.'