King Of The North Pillows

Polar Sovereignty?

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"If it's my pride, I'm not here"

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

The Unhappy King

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

The Royal Wii

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

An angry barbecue.

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

"Tarzan no want computer."

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

"If I had it all to do over again, I would have liked to be the King of Swing."

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"Friend or foe?"