King Of The Castle Pillows

'We'd like to ask you a few questions, regarding your activities in the counting house.'

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

"I really don't like how you're always trying to assert yourself."

Father's Day

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

'How about a game of cards?'

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

The Unhappy King

"If it's my pride, I'm not here"

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

'Verheyen! How many times have I told you? Don't let your personal life affect your play on the court.'

Basketball

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

"Save yourself — it’s a casserole!"

The Royal Wii

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

'My long-range goal is to turn pro and lead the league in product endorsements.'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

King completes rubik's cube.

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

'He was leaning out to watch Lady Godiva, and his crown fell into the moat.'

"Tarzan no want computer."

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

"He lives in a block of flats"

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'