Castle Dweller Pillows

'Mind your head'

"Gated communities are fine, but we just feel safer with a moat."

'It's just the plumber!'

'You can't keep blaming everything on the Mongol hordes.'

'Hereafter you sew your own buttons on your suits of armor. This is the tenth needle I've ruined tonight.'

'he was just a temp.'

"We have water in the basement."

Warning! Corona virus!

Are you sure, 'send-to-all' is a good idea, Majesty?"

"Why is it always me? What's wrong with Edward or Siegfried or Elizabeth or Margaret? But no! It's always 'Katie bar the door!'"

Portal Loo

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

'If it's any consolation, I agree with you that humour is a better defence mechanism than anger.'

'You guys are all pardoned - I'm putting in a wine cellar.'

'I don't suppose an apology would suffice?'

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'He's getting dreadfully lazy -- he fell asleep in front of the jester last night.'

"So Steve, did you ever take that course in King-ing you were talking about?"

'He was leaning out to watch Lady Godiva, and his crown fell into the moat.'

"Want me to slap up something or do take away?"

'How about a game of cards?'

"Don't forget your flask,dear"

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

Ancient Landmarks of New York City

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

'Don't ask me why but he feels a great deal of pride in calling it his 'man-cave'.'

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"