King Of The Greens Gifts

King of the Swingers.

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

Veggie Hall of Fame.

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

Chef picking salad leaves from a hanging basket outside his restaurant.

An angry barbecue.

Supermarket: Leafs, Rail Leafs

"This is great. I've been playing miniature golf so often I almost forgot what regular-sized golf is like."

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

'This has to be the longest course I've ever played!' (Sign with Gas/Food/Lodging Next Tee)

'I'm sure we'll hear about his hole-in-one!'

'I see you've been eating lots of green leafy vegetables like I told you to.'

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

"A man can't fully enjoy golf until he has a family of his own to avoid."

'So if it goes to the right it's a slice, to the left it's a hook...and down the center.'

'Did you know golf is the healthiest sport you can play?'

"Being a vegan should be considered an extreme sport."

Fred walks into a salad bar on the wrong side of the tracks.

'Put an olive in it please. My doctor says I need to eat more greens.'

"I'm not a guru. I just came up here to get away from fumes of pollution deregulation."

'I thought you were supposed to spend green stuff.'

'Oh yes, Miss Strict Vegetarian!'

Golf cheerleaders.

Slippery hand golfer

Bert always found plenty of rubbish for his compost bin

'I'm John Glynn. My dad is your dad's boss. Give me that swing.'

"You had me at plant based diet..."

'I haven't played here for eight months.' - 'You won't recognize the course now it's almost healed up.'

'I don't like bacon bits on my salad...'

''Kale'? - Did we join the Vegetable of the Month Club or something?'

"You've got it to go straight but you're facing the wrong direction."