Kindergarten Teachers Gifts

"I've asked you never to call me during naptime."

City Zoo: Day Care

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

Children's Parties

Campaign for Plain English

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

The Baby Walker

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

Swan Fairy Tales

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"I don't think I can express what I have to say in just colored paper and glue."

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"Have you been eating the paste again, Todd?"

Coping with a strong-willed child

Four Types of Test-Takers...

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

Child's Drawing (With Elephantiasis)

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

Changing Minds

Non-Denominational Carols

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

Toy Shops and Educated Children

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

Kid doing cave paintings

"When I get to Heaven, will I still have to clean my room?"

The Kids' Table at the Last Supper

'Kids, today, Xerf brought in a planet that he found. Now if we look at it closely under the microscope, you can still see it's inhabitants scrambling around.'