Starting Kindergarten Gifts

"Timothy, success is nothing to fear."

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

"Remember - kindergarten is an excellent opportunity to make connections for first grade."

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'It was neat! -- they have flat-screen blackboards!'

'It's a trap - Everything is EDUCATIONAL!'

'How do you like that? We just get through the alphabet and she starts hauling in the heavy artillery!'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'It was neat! - they have flat-screen blackboards!'

Chattanooga choo choo

"Today in school we learned how to glue!"

"Next year we lose our nap time...then we have to wait until we get real jobs to get it back!"

"I had it all figured out. Sleep late, watch TV, play all day...then kindergarten happened."

'He's researching out-of-state kindergartens.'

'Are you sure the children get plenty of exercise'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN, 'It's okay, I guess, but they sure hassle you about compliance!'

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabble!'

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

'Billy takes his jungle gym seriously!'

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

"It's fine the know your ABCs and your colors, but really you just have to be able to sit still and control your bladder."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

Swan Fairy Tales