Kindergarten Nostalgist Gifts

"Hi, dear...I'm being sued by a student who claims my teaching was inadequate in his kindergarten class 20 years ago. How was your day?"

'How do you like my two-tone car?'

"Dammit, Pooh - don't let the heffalumps win!"

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Teacher! What happens if we don't turn in our homework on time?"

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

"We're playing doctor and I need 50 cents for my co-pay."

"Now, my brave little soldier, do you have everything...an apple for your teacher, your satchel, pencils and books - your existential misery??"

'Want a mudpie? It's organic!'

'Want to swap imaginary playmates?'

I'm not substitute teaching after all. How come? They wanted a criminal background check! I was a principal for 15 years. They know me! Yes, but

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

'Do you have your insurance information on you?'

"The floors are hot lava, but the apartment does come furnished with plenty of pillows."

'Mummy, Daddy, this is Dylan. Dylan's ambition is to make conkers a recognized Olympic sport.'

Like many kids, Bobby had an imaginary friend. Unfortunately for Bobby, he was a critic.

Fade to black...

The Music Box

"Looks like somebody brought a blanky to a pillow fight."

Principal: You are here, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

"I'm in real trouble this time -- I broke the house!"

"...and smoking is forbidden behind the scooter shed"

'And here on our left you see the sugary cereal aisle...a real crowd pleaser!'

Why does every kid want the wallet size? School picture, early days.

'It must be love if your sneakers melted!'

Creepy Camp Stories.

Do Not Pass. Just like high school.

'My favorites are the ones dad tells when he gets home late.'

Flava Superba

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

Skipping

'It's tough doing what's right when you see what's left.'

'We had a full and frank exchange of views, and then I bopped him.'

Though a sentiment not shared by his classmates, Harry had come to dread the periodical 'bathroom break'.

Naughty schoolboys fight behind teacher's back in old fashioned school.