Kids Safety Gifts

'Too steep, eh Earl?'

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

Man using to much bug spray

'He made an excellent jelly.'

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Child about to jump off ironing board into bath.

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

'I don't see why I have to pick it up. I'm not responsible for the law of gravity.'

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

On the brink.

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

'Mom, don't you understand? Those collars are symbols of subservience and repression!'

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

Baby on board.

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

Child using building blocks to get over a baby gate.

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed