Child Safety Gifts

Health and Safety Gone Mad - "It doesn't look safe, his face is totally exposed to danger."

Child using building blocks to get over a baby gate.

'Oh, Sweetie, look, Daddy's fitting a new car seat for baby.'

Lollipop mask

'He swallowed a warning label!'

Child about to jump off ironing board into bath.

"You lose! Those can't cut anything."

"Why think outside the box when mom won't let you cross the street?"

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"While we don't believe in vaccination for our child, we're not entirely against keeping him safe and healthy."

Mobile phone damage to children.

Child Protection

"Why are you playing hide-and-seek in the stove!?! Don't shush me! This is my stove!"

Don't Touch Its Burnies.

'And you're sure this mobile won't affect young Damolles?'

'New rules...the toy has to be big enough that a child can't choke on it, so...'

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

"Mom is an ER nurse."

Child's Safety Harness

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

Overprotection!

'Is your house baby-proofed?'

Code Red!

"The only unsecured cabinet is full of healthy snacks."

"Great investment, huh?"

You still think she's overprotective?

My mom worries about us walking alone to the bus stop. Ridiculous. School bus. She says it's too dangerous. Crash! What was that? A mom keeping her kids safe

Your Child's Life Depends on It.

'They're a bit pricey, but on the other hand, I don't have to buy any baby gates.'

"The Johnsons finally get around to child-proofing their home."

"What have I told you about accepting suits from strangers?"

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

'What did I tell you kids about swimming in the cement hole?'

'Wouldn't it be easier to start preventative check-ups?'

Pool attached to child's bed.