Kid Chaos Admirer Pillows

"Well, could you give me a ballpark number?"

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

'and on the Kids' Menu, we have Cranky Pants French Toast...'

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

"She was right -- Her teddy bear did squish your action figure!"

"He won't eat anything but corn."

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

"The children took off their own coats this morning, Pastor."

'Actually, they're pretty nice, once they settle down.'

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

The Rugby Throw Up.

"Listen up and listen up good, 'cause I'm only going to say this a million times."

"Can't you just relax and enjoy my childhood."

'Let's just keep quiet about this, and maybe some terrorist group will claim credit.'

'You don't mind distractions as much as me, so I didn't think you'd mind if my kids played in your office today.'

'Maybe if you cut off an ear it would look better.'

'You'd better clear out some rooms, nurse. He jumped off a bridge, and all his friends are behind him.'

Surprise

The 5 second rule: canine edition

"We tried matching your child's behavioral patterns with one of those new-fangled medical condition, but it turns out that he really is just a precocious little twerp!"

'My room's in a terrible state, Mum's just cleaned it.'

The musical notes coming from a tuba knock down a man carrying a briefcase.

The Devil's Advocat

"You cheeky little monkey, Stephen, trying to pinch a chip."

A chaos of kids

"Dare I ask what you've done with the right shoe?"

I'm beginning to see why they call these SELF-inking stamps'

Katherine Mansfield.