Kiddie Chaos Coordinator Pillows

"We tried matching your child's behavioral patterns with one of those new-fangled medical condition, but it turns out that he really is just a precocious little twerp!"

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

The Baby Walker

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

"Quick, start the car!"

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"The meeting will come to order."

Sounds that various toys make when they are vacuumed up.

Here and There Trays

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

'Hey Einstein, how about converting some of your mass into energy and getting this place cleaned up?'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

Mittens is challenged by the string.

'You'll soon get the hang of it - then they'll change it.'

"It's crazy here! They're all on recreational rugs."

'and on the Kids' Menu, we have Cranky Pants French Toast...'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

'Great Therapy!'

Bears going water skiing.

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

"I've told you before one at each end!"

Riding School Chaos

Mayhem, Inc. Part 29

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

A Highlander Chasing Dogs with a Knife and a Broom.

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'