Kiddie Chaos Coordinator Pillows

"We tried matching your child's behavioral patterns with one of those new-fangled medical condition, but it turns out that he really is just a precocious little twerp!"

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

The Baby Walker

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"Quick, start the car!"

"The meeting will come to order."

Here and There Trays

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

Mittens is challenged by the string.

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

'You'll soon get the hang of it - then they'll change it.'

'and on the Kids' Menu, we have Cranky Pants French Toast...'

"I've told you before one at each end!"

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

'Great Therapy!'

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

"It's crazy here! They're all on recreational rugs."

Riding School Chaos

A Highlander Chasing Dogs with a Knife and a Broom.

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

Bears going water skiing.

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'