Kids Chaos Enthusiast Pillows

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

'and on the Kids' Menu, we have Cranky Pants French Toast...'

"I need to know who started it."

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

"He won't eat anything but corn."

"She was right -- Her teddy bear did squish your action figure!"

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

Two children play with a pedal bin

"The children took off their own coats this morning, Pastor."

'Actually, they're pretty nice, once they settle down.'

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

"Listen up and listen up good, 'cause I'm only going to say this a million times."

'Twiiiiiiiiins!!!!'

'Let's just keep quiet about this, and maybe some terrorist group will claim credit.'

"Can't you just relax and enjoy my childhood."

'How many kids do you actually have?'

"Well? Have I hit it yet?"

Baby with a full diaper 'Load Rage'

Steadman - The Early Years.

'You don't mind distractions as much as me, so I didn't think you'd mind if my kids played in your office today.'

'Found her. Keeping her.'

"I think our bundle of joy needs his mommy, dear!"

"Well, could you give me a ballpark number?"

Feeding the baby

"Normally things don't get me down. But lately, just getting out of bed has been difficult."

Why children, apples and honey should not be left unsupervised.

I've fallen and I refuse to get up! Medical Alert System for Toddlers.

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'

'We need another refrigerator, Mom.'

"Honey, all we want is what's quiet for us."