Cute Kid Chaos Pillows

"He won't eat anything but corn."

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

'and on the Kids' Menu, we have Cranky Pants French Toast...'

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

"She was right -- Her teddy bear did squish your action figure!"

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

'They made it like that so the kids wouldn't bother you.'

Two children play with a pedal bin

"The children took off their own coats this morning, Pastor."

'Actually, they're pretty nice, once they settle down.'

"Listen up and listen up good, 'cause I'm only going to say this a million times."

"A chewed slipper? I love it. No, really."

'Quick! Look cute!'

'Twiiiiiiiiins!!!!'

"Can't you just relax and enjoy my childhood."

"Well? Have I hit it yet?"

"Well, could you give me a ballpark number?"

'You don't mind distractions as much as me, so I didn't think you'd mind if my kids played in your office today.'

"I think our bundle of joy needs his mommy, dear!"

Feeding the baby

"Show Daddy what you learnt at Kung fu"

Surprise

"Welcome to the Kit-Kat Club"

"We tried matching your child's behavioral patterns with one of those new-fangled medical condition, but it turns out that he really is just a precocious little twerp!"

'My room's in a terrible state, Mum's just cleaned it.'

I'm beginning to see why they call these SELF-inking stamps'

Father playing with baby and baby is sick on his face.

Children and cat crashing on cart

"Please, Dear, don't put the cat out anymore!"

Jared's 'Crayon On Wall' collection.

'God bless mommy, daddy, spot, and that sports car I bought off the Internet with daddy's credit card.'

Hello, you have reached the Johnsons. All of our family members are currently busy sharing the events of their day. Please continue to hold, and the next available 4-year-old will be with you shortly. Machines Programmed for Telemarketers.

"That's the hospital car wash- your baby's over here."