Baby Chaos Lovers Pillows

Father playing with baby and baby is sick on his face.

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

The Family Joules: Part 16

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

'and on the Kids' Menu, we have Cranky Pants French Toast...'

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

"She was right -- Her teddy bear did squish your action figure!"

"He won't eat anything but corn."

'Dad won't buy me a puppy, so I'm teaching him to bark!'

"I fell in the mud again. Maybe I need a stunt double."

Two children play with a pedal bin

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

"The children took off their own coats this morning, Pastor."

'Actually, they're pretty nice, once they settle down.'

"Listen up and listen up good, 'cause I'm only going to say this a million times."

Spring is coming... Sunshine, warmer weather... and MUD

'My sales training was right. The person in the highest chair is dominant.'

'Twiiiiiiiiins!!!!'

'Let's just keep quiet about this, and maybe some terrorist group will claim credit.'

"A chewed slipper? I love it. No, really."

Baskerville Tabby.

"Can't you just relax and enjoy my childhood."

"I love what you've done to the place."

Baby with a full diaper 'Load Rage'

"I think our bundle of joy needs his mommy, dear!"

'We won't know how many diapers it takes to soak up a bathtub full of water until we get more diapers.'

Feeding the baby

'You don't mind distractions as much as me, so I didn't think you'd mind if my kids played in your office today.'

'Separate vacations - four of 'em!'

"Honey have you seen my phone? I can't find it anywhere...I swear I left it on the coffee table but now it's gone..."

I've fallen and I refuse to get up! Medical Alert System for Toddlers.

'You were the one who said you'd like him to bring some of his friends home. . .'