Parenting Chaos Lover Pillows

"That's the hospital car wash- your baby's over here."

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

'and on the Kids' Menu, we have Cranky Pants French Toast...'

"I need to know who started it."

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

"She was right -- Her teddy bear did squish your action figure!"

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

Two children play with a pedal bin

"The children took off their own coats this morning, Pastor."

'Dad won't buy me a puppy, so I'm teaching him to bark!'

"I fell in the mud again. Maybe I need a stunt double."

'Twiiiiiiiiins!!!!'

"Can't you just relax and enjoy my childhood."

'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

'How many kids do you actually have?'

Baby with a full diaper 'Load Rage'

After exhaustive auditions, Rudy Park hires a new writer. You should've seen the brawl that broke out between Rowling, Twain and Watterson. They all really wanted the gig … until they heard what it pays. So who'd we hire? Darrin Bell. The guy who draws us. That clown? Shhh!! What? I'm not afraid of him. To be continued …

"I think our bundle of joy needs his mommy, dear!"

'Found her. Keeping her.'

"Normally things don't get me down. But lately, just getting out of bed has been difficult."

A baby biting a boys wristwatch

'Please excuse the mess guys.My husband's doing a correspondence course in Embalming.'

'We need another refrigerator, Mom.'

"I thought I told you two to stop horsing around in here."

Supermom meets her match - super kid.

'Surprise!'

Method/Madness

"Honey, all we want is what's quiet for us."

"If he's a little bundle of joy, shouldn't he be laughing?"