Parenting Chaos Lover Prints

"That's the hospital car wash- your baby's over here."

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'and on the Kids' Menu, we have Cranky Pants French Toast...'

"I need to know who started it."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

"She was right -- Her teddy bear did squish your action figure!"

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

'Dad won't buy me a puppy, so I'm teaching him to bark!'

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

Two children play with a pedal bin

"I fell in the mud again. Maybe I need a stunt double."

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

"The children took off their own coats this morning, Pastor."

"Can't you just relax and enjoy my childhood."

'Twiiiiiiiiins!!!!'

'How many kids do you actually have?'

Baby with a full diaper 'Load Rage'

'Found her. Keeping her.'

"I think our bundle of joy needs his mommy, dear!"

"Normally things don't get me down. But lately, just getting out of bed has been difficult."

A baby biting a boys wristwatch

'Please excuse the mess guys.My husband's doing a correspondence course in Embalming.'

'We need another refrigerator, Mom.'

'Surprise!'

Method/Madness

"I thought I told you two to stop horsing around in here."

"Honey, all we want is what's quiet for us."

Supermom meets her match - super kid.

"If he's a little bundle of joy, shouldn't he be laughing?"

Stories to Keep You Up At Night