Keys Wizard Gifts

'Okay, now try it in the gear of 'D'.'

Keyboardist

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

I will study my speling words...

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

The Family Joules: Part 21

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Piano Recital

"It's a play on words."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

'I swear by my spell checker. I have a mental block for spelling. Even 'Hooqued on Foniks' didn't help.'

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

Thesaurus Publishing: Out, Not here, Gone, Absent.

"Letters would be all right if they'd just let us leave them in alphabetical order."