Keyboard Shortcut Wizard Gifts

"So...what was your mistake?"

"We're lost. You may know how to use the shortcuts on your keyboard, but you certainly don't know how to use them on the road."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

Piano Recital

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

'He will observe your text now...'

"Tom's writing has been going really well! He's written over 200,000 words. Now he just needs to work out what order to put them in!"

'When I registered for this class, in computer programming, nobody told me that it's all about converting caffeine into computer code.'

'I home-schooled all seven kids. Right now I'm in the teacher's lounge.'

Stupid ideas rewritten to sound like brilliant concepts.

"Reading social media, I almost miss grammar, spelling and punctuation"

Computer Music

Last night I went over to Lance's house, and he was leaning back in his recliner, drinking a beer, eating a pizza and smoking a cigar. I said, "Tsk! Tsk!" He asked if that was for the recliner, the beer the pizza or the cigar. I explained that I'm quite adept at multi-tsking.

'Your training will be the next five minutes watching my fingers move at the speed of light.'

'Yes, I'm very punctual. I always use commas and periods.'

A Meeting of Computer Buffs.

Progression of human writing, from chisled stone to computers until 2000 when the computer has blown up

'I think I set the security level, on my anti virus software, too high. Whenever I access anything it is automatically deleted.'

"Remember, the password is case sensitive."

Wordplay: Me.

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

'Sorry.. I don't date lower-case types.'

Wordplay: Pantomime.

C Day Lewis.

"Sure I remember you. I'm terrible with faces but I never forget a username, pin or password."

"Good morning - your neighbours have asked me to come and tune your piano."

'Too many exclamation points!!!!!!'

"You're a gifted writer, although at times you're just too precious."

"Quick, how do you spell ‘anthropomorphize’?"

The Keyboard