Keynote Aficionado Gifts

Key-Note Speakers

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

Showbiz Awards

Sir Winston Churchill

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

That's What Happens

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

Conference Pears

Mark Anthony on Zoom.

Legalish

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

Steve Bannon Loves That Donald Trump Exists Outside Linear Time

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

The North Portico of the White House runs away crying.

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

"I make it a point to hire people smarter than me."

'I married him because he made my feet tingle when we played footsie. Turns out it was neuopothy.'

"I've no idea what he said...but he's so darned cute."

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

Martin Luther King and Obama.

The Genghis Khan School of Business Skills

"Do your thing, Phil...lull them into submission."

William Pitt the Elder

Caricatures of Political Figures Exhibited at the Opera Ball

"Sir, your new campaign manager is here."

'We should e-mail this and point out that many of our victims were in key marginals...'

'Vote for me because my Super PAC raised lots more money than my opponent's Super PAC.'

New GOP Election Laws: "Look at it this way. . . we're making it easier for you to climb that tree...!"