Keynote Aficionado Pillows

Key-Note Speakers

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

Showbiz Awards

Sir Winston Churchill

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

Conference Pears

The North Portico of the White House runs away crying.

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

'I married him because he made my feet tingle when we played footsie. Turns out it was neuopothy.'

"I make it a point to hire people smarter than me."

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

"I've no idea what he said...but he's so darned cute."

"Hold your questions until I've talked so long no one knows or cares what you're asking about."

The Genghis Khan School of Business Skills

Caricatures of Political Figures Exhibited at the Opera Ball

"Sir, your new campaign manager is here."

New GOP Election Laws: "Look at it this way. . . we're making it easier for you to climb that tree...!"

"Do your thing, Phil...lull them into submission."

Martin Luther King and Obama.

'We should e-mail this and point out that many of our victims were in key marginals...'

'Vote for me because my Super PAC raised lots more money than my opponent's Super PAC.'

William Pitt the Elder