Public Speaking Aficionado Pillows

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

'Your presentation on the advantages of e-commerce would've been better had it not been for the use of the word 'dude' 183 times.'

'Norman needed some help with his presentation technique'

"Please welcome Doctor Simpkins, author of 'Good Posture: The Key to Power and Wealth."

TOM

"Mother, please!"

"Welcome to my TED talk."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"Remember, always give 100%." "Unless you're donating blood."

"Live. Love. Bark."

He knew that his motivational speech was a failure when only the hecklers seemed to be motivated.

'Excuse me... does anybody have some white-out?'

Politic.

"Please refrain from throwing business cards."

'I am resigning from public office to spend more time with my mistress.'

'He just gave the longest speech ever, with nobody in attendance.'

Big Speech

'Politician?!'

'I'm getting a lot of feedback. Could you all turn down the volume in your hair bit?'

'He's the only one we could get to be master of ceremonies.'

'I can't tell you how happy I am to be here wherever I am today ...'

"I will not mince words, but may slice, dice, and finely chop."

"And now, let’s welcome our keynote speaker... I truly have no idea who this person is, that’s how good and ghosty they are."

A sign language interpreter makes a dirty hand gesture.

A Puppet Named Juan

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

They hated me.

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

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