Conference Keynote Lover Gifts

"None of this research would have been possible without all the bitter professional vendettas that kept me going . . . "

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

The interested bystanders.

"Any questions?"

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

'Mutation and natural selection? - That sounds awfully STRESSFUL!'

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

Conference Pears

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

Everything You Wanted to Know About Stats ...

I'd like to talk about absenteeism.

'And in conclusion.'

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

"Don Wood? I don't know any Don Wood!"

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

Is that one of those wafer thin computers?

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

"Another organization has already researched this, but I'm afraid that if we use it, we won't get as much credit."

Communication Breakdowns

Chaos Theory Conference.

John couldn't help but think that his team had a different perspective on the event than he did...

"I can't tel you what an honor it is to be the keynote speaker at the Supply Chain management Seminar."

'Would the person who's inhaling the very life out of this meeting please stop it right now?'