Keyboard Theologian Gifts

"Why do I bother to evangelize online when no one listens?"

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

The Proust of Twitter

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"He's very disciplined about his writing, every morning he stares at the keyboard for at least 4 hours before he allows himself a cup of tea!"

A woman playing a keyboard

Thomas Cranmer

"The time has come for some tough cost-cutting decisions, and I'm forced to ask myself, do we really need a bass?"

'He's a man of few works. He likes to talk, he just has a limited vocabulary.'

"Keep practicing, and someday you'll be able to play the two songs you remember at houses that also have pianos."

The band.

The Escape Key

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

'Do you ever wonder if we'll evolve into creationists?'

'It's just like New-Time religion, but recognizes sin.'

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

"God's sent us some chocolates."

'Well if you don't want the apple, can I tempt you with this?'

When The Seven Deadly Sins Come Knocking.

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

"Are you sure you sent out those invitations?"

Col Pugno

Cyberwarfare

A 60's pop group

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comment section just solved the Middle East crisis."

"It's called monotheism, but it looks like downsizing to me."

'Oh I've seen this before - an encounter with the Goldberg Variations I fear!'

"We pride ourself on diversity."

"We never discuss religion."

'I don't think you're trying hard enough to look at things from the sinner's perspective, Reverend.'

"Pressing the escape key won't get you out of the boss' doghouse."

Heavenly meetings.