Kettle Kinship Gifts

A teapot and teacup

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

True confessions.

The Family Joules: Part 21

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

Excess Baggage: In the old days folks called 2 weeks with 4 kids in a non-air conditioned car a vacation.

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

Children's Party

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

'Riley, I think it's time you learned the truth... You're adopted.'

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

'You were a band geek?! Maybe Max will play an instrument!'

"Grandpa, how did you ever survive without apps?"

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"We're not laughing at you, sweetie. We're laughing at something you don't understand."

"See those birch trees on the other side of the pond? That’s the exact spot where your mother first called me an idiot."

'It is a big day! Ten years ago, yout dad joined the union!'

"But our history was current events when you were at school Dad!"

Wyatt returns home to visit his old small town.

"Well, I assume the three bears went in the woods like all bears do. May I continue?"

"A watched kettle never boils, so I'm covering up Alexa."

'If I want to live happily ever after, grandma, do I have to marry a princess?'

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

"Oh I remember, it was a particularly cold day and your daddy whispered sweet nothings in my ear. It gave me such a warm feeling inside that I knew he was the one!"

'It's a horror-comedy.'

Shall I be mother?

Brilliance runs in my family, but in a zig-zag pattern.

Well, I'll be...Dutch Elm Disease!

Scenes from a Vacation

"I'll give you a cookie if you promise to paint me as a pillar among women in your future memoir."

"Before we begin, I think you should all know that I once smoked a reefer in 1935."

"So, Gramps, did you fight the World War on Nintendo or Playstation?"