Kerning Critic Gifts

The Graphic Designers EYE EXAM

The Graphic Designer's Eye Exam

The Last upper: Novus Ordo Style

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

Preliminary Price Tag: $5,000,000,000

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

"What are your other qualifications besides 'my daddy owns the company'?"

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

Like many kids, Bobby had an imaginary friend. Unfortunately for Bobby, he was a critic.

"The audience is really classy tonight, they are throwing quail eggs."

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

"He's a mental-health critic."

Supreme court chairs with IV bags

Barrett - rushed majority

'If this is a democracy, how come voters don't get matching funds?'

"I don't think President Netanyahu's Palestinian policy is..."

If you want to get big as a radio host, you've got to differentiate yourself from all the other mean, insulting critics. I have a plan. You need to start being nice. That way, you'll really surprise people when you turn on them. That's the stupidest @#$% Idea I've ever heard, you muscle-bound ape! It needs work. Damn. What if I retract the muscle-bound part?

The Artificial Intelligentsia

"You forgot his tail."

'Bench-clearing brawl!'

"I've got it! If we don't send Stanley Kauffman any tickets, maybe he won't come!"

"If I had my life to live over again, I'd unlearn macrame."

'I'm judge, jury and, I'm hoping, one day...'

"Our house wine is abominable."

Don't walk while cross.

Two kids caught playing dots & boxes on a Damien Hirst painting, spelling the word 'so-so'.

"It was all we could afford in the end."

"Case dismissed for obvious reasons."

I don't like it. The lapels are too narrow.

'This is for a different book.'

US Justice On A Snail.

Sneer-leading

'Don't you think that kid's a little old to still be sucking on a bottle?'

"It's not the kids I hate. It's the parents for having them."