Kendo Gifts

Pub Kendo.

Tartine

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

'Garfield has told the oil companies to go to hell.'

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

'How would you like your toast?'

'We had to donwsize.'

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

"Billy, we don't need to feed that vacuum robot."

Second aid

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

Meanwhile at the Cafe de la Mort...

'Greatest Hits Compilations not yet turned into a terrible Ben Elton show.'

Happy Meals for Grown Ups

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

Food van driving through an office.

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

'Has he been out with your mother by any chance?'

'Beer? Wassat then?'

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

"The coffee is free, but now we rent the tables."

"I don't care what your father said, Santa likes milk and cookies NOT beer and pretzels!"