Kiddos Gifts

How to make Easter special for the kids. . .

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

City Zoo: Day Care

"Just be yourself."

I like the Jets...I guess

Wildlife

Football Fans

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

Santa Claus's Mail

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

"I don't think I can express what I have to say in just colored paper and glue."

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

"And this is our media room."

"Hi-yah!"

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

"Look, a bug!"

"That'll be five bucks."

SALE

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

'I'll give you a clue. The answer is a number, not a fruit.'

'He made an excellent jelly.'