Keeper Hopefuls Gifts

Goal

Billy would watch his ant farm for hours on end.

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

A scarecrow goalie

"If we went to war, wouldn't God be on the spot?"

Vodka

'I hate to tell you this, but there was a hole in my pocket, and I lost the budget surplus.'

"Holly and Michael were growing envious of their son's imaginary friend… Rickey and me are going to the Knicks game with Bruce Springsteen!"

'My ultimate ambition is a large pond.'

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'

Dog and frog playing football.

'I'm beginning to think that you're WILLFULLY apathetic!'

"My majesty!....Hm....I like the sound of that!"

Football Security

"Before it's too late, Dad, I want to take the opportunity to say 'I love you.'"

'You can't keep blaming everything on the Mongol hordes.'

'305 days until Christmas.'

'Looking forward to your retirement, Campbell?'

'You'll have to put away your man cave, dear, the Fenwicks are coming over for dinner!'

"Your reputation for taking penalties doesn't scare me... Ready when you are."

'I'll take them all.'

'Oh, yes-he popped the question alright-'Who's gonna win the cup?'

'Sorry, folks, but your tax cut was eaten up by attorneys' fees.'

"And here's a list of food you can't eat."

Bob's last days as moat monitor.