Kingdom Keeper Gifts

'So far I've got Sacramento Kings, L.A. Kings, Kings of Leon, Kings of Comedy, King of Rock 'n Roll...Have I left anyone out of your trademark infringement suit, sire?'

"If we went to war, wouldn't God be on the spot?"

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'

'You can't keep blaming everything on the Mongol hordes.'

"Well your majesty, you're one helluva corrupt guy but bhind the seven mountains there are rulers who are much, much more corrupt than you!"

"My majesty!....Hm....I like the sound of that!"

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

"The militant hard-liners are making demands, the fanatical zealots are issuing threats, and the moderate centrists are offering suggestions."

'I hate to tell you this, but there was a hole in my pocket, and I lost the budget surplus.'

'Sorry, folks, but your tax cut was eaten up by attorneys' fees.'

'All your spin doctors have come down with vertigo.'

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

Michael Jackson

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

Pointing.

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

The Goalkeeper

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

'All I said was 'belly up to the bar'.'

'My name is Herbert J.Whiteside - you must fly for help immediately.'

Fish Posting No Fishing Sign

"Unfortunately, what you downloaded from the net is a ten-year-old paper I once wrote for my college boyfriend!"

A house cat fishes in a goldfish bowl

Cat plays a golf shot from a litter box.

'Go on - they're organic!'

'I haven't been able to go to sleep in this new bowl.'

'Here they come, Ben, look alive now!'

'Ben, you don't know how nice it is to be hunting with you, especially after fishing with you.'