Keeper Coach Gifts

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Reach for the Star.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Time Is Money

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

Go! Means NOW!

The trauma of losing.

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

Back to school.

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

Bringing Your Child To The Bicycle Race

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

A married couple share the same pole vault.

Bears

Saving a Heart

Raheem Sterling

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'