Karate Dreamer Gifts

Wilbert wished he's taken those karate classes instead.

Bob's Driving School.

'I imagine you'll be asking for a full refund.'

'I have a feeling one day when he grows up he'll be an artist of some kind.'

"Mom, Mom, watch me!"

'You may now kick the bride.'

The world's most unemployable family

Olympic Climate

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

'And the Dance Scholarship goes to...'

Children's imagination

"Great money scenes!"

"Have you give any thought to my suggestion about a sculpture that's just a chubby kid constantly peeing."

"Sorry, you're not cut out to be a mime artist."

I disturbed the class by talking in my sleep.

Like many kids, Bobby had an imaginary friend. Unfortunately for Bobby, he was a critic.

'...but you can't keep imagining you're going downhill!'

'Don't be hard on the boy, dear, I'm sure that Van Gogh's first sunflowers weren't so hot.'

"Write your acceptance speech before winning the award."

Thin Ice

"This is their way of reminding us how we're losing our best hope for Olympic Gold."

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

"Remedial Karate"

'Instead of a black belt, some of our older students, like Mr. Mertz here, prefer the black suspenders.'

"This baby can take you from zero to cardiac arrest in 60 seconds!"

'I thought I could dance...'

Wake us up when the Olympics are over...

An artist blows smoke that forms into a cloud which rains onto his canvas.

"I'll let you ticket this one, Mick."

"That painting's not going to paint itself."

'Dauber Micawber'

'It all started when I took a Rorschach test.'