Justification Genius Gifts

'Harrison will make the hard decisions and Dunwoody will rationalize them.'

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

"Quick! The ideas are hatching!"

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

"I hear it's because we're right and they're wrong."

Dangling Carrots

"It seems our precious three year old hacked into the White House with his playtime computer!"

Two words, boss: Virtual reality. We glue virtual reality goggles to our coffee mugs. Come again? When patrons sip their Himalayan mochas, they'll think they're dangling from a cliff in the Himalayan mountains. People will come from Miles around! People will throw up for miles around. We'll give patrons mops that double as virtual reality hockey sticks. This conversation is virtually over.

"Our marketing budget has become a black hole."

"I do my best thinking in the shower... do I need to run 5 miles a day in order to take one?"

Academia Can Kill By Degrees

"If you were truly blessed by genius, it wouldn't end there, believe you me!"

"Well, I thought of it as an innovative economic stimulus package, but the jury insisted on calling it securities fraud!"

"My organization will ALSO be focusing on this section here."

"And you laughed when I had it installed."

'I like Haffner's idea better...if we get caught, his idea is good for only six months in the slammer. Your idea is good for five to ten years.'

Chapter 3. Andrew's scheme backfires.

"Oh, I did my homework, alright. I found a paradise called 'online school helper'."

'My idea's quite simple really. Put the money in the bag!'

"We're still figuring out how to monetise him."

'The gene therapy we used is our intellectual property, so we had you copyrighted.'

"In my experience, telling a kid 'without an education you can't get a job', almost never works. But, 'without an education you can;t get a job to get money to buy new sneakers and C.D.s,' works every time."

"Eureka! We've isolated the sports fan gene!"

'I apologize for laughing at your idea, Hal. It's brilliant!'

'I told you I'd find a way to change the flat without a jack!'

"Anything yet?"

Corbin The Esitmator

'It's weird, I know, but he does come up with some of our best ideas that way.'

A perk of self-employment.

'Now for a test of the viewer's intelligence. . . Seeing if he's bright enough to turn it off .'

Caution! Children Mugging!