Jury Persuasive Gifts

Great with juries

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"#notguilty."

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'I got a suspended sentence.'

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

You've been found guilty by a jury of your peers -- You're toast fella!

Jury Selection Today. Have any of you been friended by the defendant on Facebook?

'Then if there are no objections, we will recess until tomorrow morning.'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"Not guilty, Your Honor, and thank you for asking."

'We find the defendant guilty. I mean, why else would he go out and hire the best lawyer in town?'

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

"Let's try the swearing-in process again, and this time, without the high-fives at the end."

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

'Your honour, we find the defendent 'politically incorrect'.'

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

Eleven Angry Men and One Happy Chappy