Jury Deliberator Gifts

Citizens' Jury - 'The jury thinks you should get rid of Citizens' Juries.'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Dialogue

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"Great plan. Could we get some more details?"

"Now that's a win."

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

Wal-Mart Ruling

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

"#notguilty."

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

"On the contrary, Bosworth, it's YOU who has lost all perspective."

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

Like Minded

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.