Divorce Deliberator Gifts

"Hey, are you here for a divorce, too!?"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Great plan. Could we get some more details?"

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

'According to your pre-nuptial agreement. If you divorce her, you'll turn back into a frog.'

'Of course I hired Andrew. He's the best divorce lawyer around! Unfortunately, he's also the rat I want to get divorced from...'

"After six marriages I learnt my lesson and married my divorce lawyer."

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

'You've got Mr & Mrs Smith at 2.00, Mr & Mrs Jones at 2.30, and at 3.00 your wife has made an appointment with a Divorce Lawyer!'

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

"You'll hear from my lawyer."

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

"That's all we can do about the federal loan at this time. Next business."

'I'm sorry Martha, but I've fallen in love with a light bulb.'

First United Church of Outrageously Overlimited Credit Card Holders

"Italy's national debt runs into trillions. How do you repossess a country?"

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."

Standard & Poors, you dirty dog! Don't pick at our AAA rating!'

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

'I propose a cooling off period of 100 years?'

Generation Ex.

Pandora's box.

"I do corporate, divorce, and malpractice, but I'm most familiar with leash laws."

'There's been a change in my recurring nightmare. I'm no longer falling . . . my credit rating is.'

Citizens' Jury - 'The jury thinks you should get rid of Citizens' Juries.'

'... And just in case it doesn't work out, here's my card. I'm also a very good divorce lawyer.'

"Quite frankly, I've had a gut-full of all his Shakespearean drama!"

Marriage Returns

'You don't want to marry me. I'm a divorce lawyer.'

'Of course I will! Hey, I can't go wrong - my brother is a divorce lawyer and my dad is a gun dealer!'

"As a matter of fact, yes, it was an amicable divorce."

'Everyone does divorces, Mrs.Dawson.'

'Mr. Rock and Mrs. Hardplace are here, sir.'

'If you dislike the term divorce that much, then just think of it as downsizing the time you spend together.'