Jury Of Love Gifts

"Give me one more chance, Rachel. I'll go straight, and quit my lawyerin' ways."

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Mighty Man Of Justice Is Born

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'I got a suspended sentence.'

You've been found guilty by a jury of your peers -- You're toast fella!

"Remember, junior, in America anyone can aspire to become the most powerful person in government - the special prosecutor!"

'We find the defendant guilty. I mean, why else would he go out and hire the best lawyer in town?'

"....'Sickness, health? ... better, worse... richer, poorer?'... how about leaving me some wiggle room!"

'Is your verdict unanimous?'

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

"It's not that you're a failure. It's that you completely lack the capacity for success."

'It wasn't easy, but I got you a jury of your peers — six hairdressers, five interior decorators, and a professor of 18th Century poetry.'

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

'The 'whole truth and nothing but the truth' can be tricky.'

Barrister pointing out dozing judge to the jury

With Jury Duty for All

"We the jury, find the defendant. Hang on..uh oh...where's that sticky note go?"

"take your best shot, counselor."

'I told you it wouldn't work. You just can't predict what a jury is going to do.'

'Don't tell me you weren't speeding back there. When you drove by me, all I could see was a blur.'

"We find the defendant guilty on all charges, Your Honor. On the positive side, we really liked his openness and energy."

"I don't like the looks of this! That's our jury consultant!"

'Yes, I can defend you, but we may have a tough time selecting a jury of your peers.'

'This jury will disregard the donuts and festive decorations provided by the defense.'

'I'm not kidding....my client is really insane!'

'He's just been named a super lawyer by the Bar Association.'

'Sure, I did all that stuff once, but this is the NEW me.'

"They're eating out of my hand but that doesn't guarantee an acquittal."

Must you be so judgmental?

'Recently my wife and I have had a row of these down the middle of the bed!'

''The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth'? -- How patriarchal can you get?'

Hearsay evidence.

"May I remind the jury a guilty verdict for my client will trigger defamation of character lawsuits."