Jurassic Jokesters Gifts

Dinosaurs Playing Poker.

Jurassic Ark

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'Gravity...Go figure!'

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"Something will fall down from the sky and it will be the end of the world - just because you didn't eat all of your carrion for lunch, my boy!"

Tortoise and hare on treadmills.

Extremely Practical Jokes.

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

"Why T-Rexes do not play volleyball..."

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

They discover fire and we spend all day cooking!

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

'One hundred and forty? You don't look a day over one hundred and thirty nine!'

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

'What, not even a kiss first?'

Hey boss, that generic soap you gave me isn't really cleaning the cups. Mind if I go get some brand name stuff? Are you insane? There's zero difference between generic and brand name products. Corporate America just cons people into thinking "you get what you pay for." Don't be a stooge, Rudy. Don't fall for it. Now get in there and scrub those cups, minion! Strike a blow for the little guy against corporate lies! Wait ... I'm very confused. Are you a right-winger or a left-winger? You mean in w

Dorothy gets a visit from her funny Valentine.

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

"The good news is that you will have a healthy baby girl. The bad news is that she is a congenital liar."

Clerk: 'Boy that Delivery guy sure has a THICK accent!'

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

'He's a pretty good pet, except for the 'walkies' part.'

"You know darn well my maiden name wasn't Rex. Why do you ask?"

'I can't make it, I'm dead.'

That's no largemouth bass, son - You caught yourself a rare blabbermouth bass. I'm nothin'! A nobody! Throw me back and I'll show you where the really big fish are!

Practical joke, violent offender rehab center: 'Relate to me!'

'On the outside I'm all ho-ho-ho. But inside I feel weak and shaky, like a bowl full of jelly.'