Junkyard Enthusiast T-Shirts

Throwing away your brain

Al's Junkfood Restaurant next to Al's Junkyard.

'Got any heavy metal, squire?'

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

Beginning Yarder.

Lawn Order. It's a landscaping show about maintaining a tidy yard.

"You see a bunny rabbit in the clouds. I see mom telling me to mow the lawn."

'Like the 'Cobra' and the 'Viper', my car is named for a snake too - the 'Rattler'.'

"When the heck did leaf blowers become grass blowers?!"

Junk Science. (Scientist sits in lawn chair just outside of junk yard.)

Leaves.

"Of course, when we landscape the place, we'll get rid of that old washing machine and replace it with one that's indigenous to these parts."

' ... or you could park it near the Dynamite Shack at Klutz Construction.'

'...and someday this will all be yours, Son.'

'There are five of ua, a high wall with razor wire: It must be something really valuable or secret we're guarding...'

I brake for anything discarded that I can bring to the Antiques Roadshow

Al's Junk: Now selling Russian Govt. Bonds!

'I gotta be honest with you. . . I wouldn't be in business if it weren't for smart folks like you who can't pass up a bargain on stuff they don't need.'

"Oh, good! Lucille is sending me some stuff!"

"We climbed three thousand feet up Mont Blanc to get that one."

"As weed-whackers go, it's a little quiet for my taste."

Magnetic North

"It's found crap."

"Do you think it's time to switch from the blower to the mower?"

"This is fresh to the market, and there's no chain, so nothing stopping you from getting right up to the gate when the postman arrives."

"Someday, Son, this unnecessary and outdated stuff will all be yours."

Charlie Dimmock T-shirts for gardeners.

Manifold Destiny

Welcome to the Museum of One's Kitchen

"One day at a time, Ethel, I take it one day at a time. So far this year, it has been the usual assortment of useless junk. Last week, he located a dump scow, and he spent all this week dragging a 1929 Ford engine block out of the river. . ."

Hoarder Collie

Junk food next to junk yard.

'Can you prove that was under your granny's sideboard?'

When Shove Comes To Push